*THE FOLLOWING BELOW IS NOT WRITTEN BY THE ROYAL HALF,
BUT RATHER PUMPERNICHOLL, OUR MASTER RECAPPER*
KINGS 4, SHARKS 3, MINDS BLOWN
Unsettled.
That's the best way to describe my state after the Los Angeles Kings shutout the San Jose Sharks in Game 1. Sure, I was over the moon because the Kings won, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I screwed up. "That's the game I should have gone to," I kept telling myself.
You see, I haven't been to a Kings-Sharks game since 2011, when this happened:
Second worst money I've ever spent.
And then this happened:
Worst money I've ever spent.
So, yeah.
I guess I'll just have to go on faith that the Kings won't blow a big lead and that the magic can continue. And maybe, just maybe, I can finally see the Kings beat the Sharks in person. Not to erase those haunting images from two years ago, but to have something even better to look back on from now on.
Fat chance, I know.
Click Here to Read the Rest of PumperNicholl's RECAP of Game 2 vs the Sharks!!!
*Editor's Note: Feel free to interact with these tweets. They have been embedded to make your life easier. Just don't be idiots. Or be idiots. Whatever.
PREGAME:
Fuck Stoll, fuck the LA Kings, and fuck the NHL for using a player's past to justify a suspension on a clean hit. Absolutely pathetic.— Allie (@allieisincali) May 16, 2013
@isaacvillalobos well you had him and still got shut out so... :)— LeftwingSD16 (@LeftwingSD16) May 16, 2013
OH SNAP!
Fuck yall niggas, how you gunna suspend my homie Raffi Torres for throwin a one blow KO.. #FuckLa #SJSharks— Dee-Legit (@ThrowSumDEEonit) May 16, 2013
#FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA #FuckLA— shark (@ssjsharks1) May 17, 2013
#SJSVSLAK #BeatLA #BeatTheKINGS#SJsharks #StanleyCupPlayoffs #sharksnation #gosharks #letsgosharks #FUCKLA #SHARKSTERRITORY— Mulatto (@MixedNigga_) May 17, 2013
San Jose hella-loves their hashtags.
Kings as fuck vine.co/v/bEH2rODdwA6— Tommy Senter (@senteryourself) May 17, 2013
Still not sure how anyone can hate Kings fans.
FIRST PERIOD:
me and mother agree jeff carter is "gay" also he is "queer". dot exclaims "shit" as the puck enters the goal. fuck the kings.— mufasa (@atMUFASA) May 17, 2013
So this was an actual conversation that people had?
Fuckitty fuck fuck. LA scores on their first god damn SOG. 0-1 Kings. DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!!!— The Teal Ladies (@TheTealLadies) May 17, 2013
Ladies after my own heart.
Fuck the Kings! @sanjosesharks better fuck their shit up tonight & take a dump on Quick #GoSharks #BeatLA— Chuck Franklin (@chuckles333) May 17, 2013
Chuckles loves him some hot carl action.
— Barrio★Art™ (@BarrioArt) May 17, 2013
Did you know that the chomp proves you're an authentic fan?
SECOND PERIOD:
Nobody's given a goddamn about the LA Kings since Gretzky. Fuck them.— Eric Patetta (@EPatetta) May 17, 2013
I don't think Gretzky cares anymore, either,
Suck a fuck, Doughty.— lindsay (@wolfsvalentine) May 17, 2013
I guess that's NorCal speak for "2-0 Kings."
Someone send me to Staples Center and I'll assassinate the fuck outta the Kings. And Cartman.— Priti (@PritiH8Machine) May 17, 2013
I wonder if Sharks fans know that cartoons aren't real...
#FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA #FUCKLA— Nathan Limon (@SimboKlice) May 17, 2013
#FUCKLA #BeatLA #FUCKLA #BeatLA #FUCKLA #BeatLA #FUCKLA #BeatLA #FUCKLA #BeatLA #FUCKLA #BeatLA #FUCKLA #BeatLA #FUCKLA #BeatLA #FUCKLA— Nick Williams (@Williams1116) May 17, 2013
#ALL #THE #HASHTAGS!!!!!
Fuck Jonathan quick! SUCK MY DICK!! Scoooooooooore!!— Mar1ne87 (@JoseAyankees101) May 17, 2013
Psh. Big deal.
*starts drinking heavily*
Fuck yeah Sharks are comin back!Thank you Stuart! #GoSharks #BeatLA*curls up in fetal position*
— Chuck Franklin (@chuckles333) May 17, 2013
Suspend carter!!! Fuck you LA Kings fans for BOOING AN INJURED PLAYER!!! #Classy— megan (@meganphosho) May 17, 2013
If Torres got a series long suspension for his hit shouldn't carter get a lifetime ban for that one? Fuck the kings— Tim Wraith (@tim_dubs) May 17, 2013
THIRD PERIOD:
Lost another important la kings player. FUCK YEAH come on sharks— Christina ✨⚫ Campos (@christinahuuuh) May 17, 2013
*more excessive drinking coupled with whimpering*
#SJSVSLAK #BeatLA #BeatTheKINGS#SJsharks #StanleyCupPlayoffs #sharksnation #gosharks #letsgosharks #FUCKLA #SHARKSTERRITORY— Mulatto (@MixedNigga_) May 17, 2013
Seriously, is there anything a Sharks fan loves more than hashtags?
— Nick Williams (@Williams1116) May 17, 2013
*uncontrollable sobbing*HOLY SHIT VLASIC YOURE A FUCKING BEAST JUST RECOVERED FROM A CHARGE AND MADE A GOAL HA FUCK YOU KINGS #BeatLA #sjsharks— brianna (@sighbrianna) May 17, 2013
If you're from California and you're a Kings or Ducks fan, you probably don't know shit about fuck. #SharksTerritory #BeatLA— Robert Harrigan (@Harrigan24) May 17, 2013
#SharksTerritory
...something is happening...That is NOT a penalty.. They were both going for the puck!! #whatajoke #fuckLA— Butterfly_Tendy (@Butterfly_Tendy) May 17, 2013
I have a lot more in common with Ponyboy than I ever imagined.KINGS SCORE!!!!!!!FUCK YES!!!! (Rips off shirt and runs through the house!!!)— C. Thomas Howell (@CThomasHowell) May 17, 2013
I wonder if Art Vandelay imports or exports Kings victories.Damn sick assLA kings game! Fuck te bay #nhlplayoffs— ÅRT VÅND£LÅ¥ (@PerezP54) May 17, 2013
I fucking hate the LA Kings.Who the fuck decided that they deserved to be God's gift to hockey?— Dave Hurka (@HurkaDoesSports) May 17, 2013
Nick and Daryl salute you, sir!Im high as fuck listening to the kings game on the radio haha #IntenseasFuck— Anthony Rizzo (@riztheshiz5) May 17, 2013
Sure, but there's no way that...#nhl#refsyousuck what a way to give @lakings a chance at the end. #fuck #StanleyCupPlayoffs #rigged #kingssuck— Ambellina (@MeisterKiwi) May 17, 2013
!!!!!!!!!!!!And again OMFG!!!!!!!GO KINGS GO!!!!!Game winner baby!!!— C. Thomas Howell (@CThomasHowell) May 17, 2013
Get comfy, folks. This should be fun to watch.
NOOOOOOOO OMG FUCKING SHIT FUCK YOU KINGS— Tierra Sangiacomo (@tierraaaaa_) May 17, 2013
THIS IS THE STUPIDEST GAME EVER! #FUCKLA— Alex Llanos (@AlexLlanos) May 17, 2013
And that's the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!THESE KINGS FANS DON'T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY FUCK THEM— Stone Cold Haley ⚓ (@s3lanne) May 17, 2013
kings bandwagoners fuck you man seriously— George O&B Cannon(@MrUniverse30) May 17, 2013
Sharks fans still believe!Two goals from the Kings.This series is fucking over.I'm done.Fuck this bullshit.— Sean Flanigan (@jumpthekraken) May 17, 2013
No Sharks fan would be THAT dumb, right?ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME FUCK LA ANY FAN I SEE OF THE KINGS GETTING SMACKED BLOOD— Manny S (@MxnveerBruh) May 17, 2013
This is the perfect Twitter name.2 GOALSSS IN 22 SECONDSSSSS WERE THE MUTHA FUCKIN KINGS MUTHA FUCKAS— David G (@cocky_as_fuck) May 17, 2013
SMH NIGGA FUCK THE KINGS— Chadd Laguna (@ayooChadd) May 17, 2013
John Forslund: Kings assbuddy.WHERE ARE DREW AND RANDY WHY THE FUCK AM I WATCHING WITH THESE SMUG ASS KINGS ASSBUDDIES ANNOUNCERS ARRRGGGHHHHH— caterpillar (@haveringtoyou) May 17, 2013
Hi my name is fuck up an I decided to ref a playoff game and give the kings the game. #WORSTCALLEVER— Hailee Balga (@haayguuurl29) May 17, 2013
NHL officiating really disappointed metonight. That was clearly not a delay of game #BULLSHIT #FUCKEVERYTHINGLA #LAISSOFT #BROWNSABITCH— Sam Funnell™ (@samfunnell) May 17, 2013
So you agree that they didn't try?That game couldn't have been more fixed if they tried! #FuckLA— Ms. Kumar (@ms_kumarSD) May 17, 2013
Are you fucking kidding me.... I hope these refs get fined for throwing the game. #fuckLA— Alex Olguin (@RamonOlguin) May 17, 2013
REALLY, no Sharks fan would be THAT dumb, right?!I seriously can't remember the last time I've wanted to fucking kill somebody #fuckla— Chuy Daniel Sanchez (@chuysancho) May 17, 2013
Fresno Monsters forever.FUCK THE LA KINGS AND ALL TEAMS SOUTH OF FRESNO!!!— Nick Lozano (@49ers4life27) May 17, 2013
Fuck everything. Especially the LA Kings, Jonathon Quick and the refs for that bullshit delay of game call.— Pepe Silvia(@NotActuallyJake) May 17, 2013
Probably could've been any number of penalties called in front of Kings' net in last min, but NHL already got a comeback so fuck us, right?— Dagotron (@dagotron) May 17, 2013
Gotta be fucking kidding me! Stupid fucking call on Pickles. That hit off the shoulder, not even a delay of game. Fuck you Kings!— Kayla Spoulos (@kkaylanicole38) May 17, 2013
FUCK THIS FAKE ASS FANS JUST CAUSE THE KINGS ARE GOOD CHEET FOR YOUR OWN TEAMLIKE FUXK— SHARKS GM (@LOGSharks) May 17, 2013
In a matter of seconds my night was ruined by the guys in stripes. Bullshit rule bullshit team of kings #fuckLA— Eddi Guayo (@patojoeddi) May 17, 2013
Well that was the most depressing loss ever. Now I can sit here and be heated as fuck for the rest of the night #FuckLA #GoHomeKings— Huxley G (@SonOfAgustaf) May 17, 2013
What a fucking joke!! How the fuck does a team get a 2-man adv at the end of a playoff game when they're down by 1? Rigged for the #Kings— A$AP JY (@jroc260) May 17, 2013
Fuck you officials you cost us the game! Kings shouldn't be proud of that win! It takes a 5 on 3 for y'all to score??— Hanna Lottritz (@hannahigh11) May 17, 2013
Fuck the douche cunts behind the LA Kings organization. Those slime bags think they're the second coming of Christ.— Chris Slater (@MCWacker) May 17, 2013
Fuck you NHL refs go suck some more la kings dick #assholes— josef hryniewicki (@hryniewicki1988) May 17, 2013
REALLY, SHARKS FANS?!Fuck LA nigga Imma find all those Kings players and they gonna get shot as soon as they step in San Jose— Daniel G (@GalindoDG) May 17, 2013
FUCK YOU LEWIS! FUCK YOU KINGS! FUCK! FUCK YOU!!— pennyclaire fagarang (@gnaaarlypenny) May 17, 2013
I want to see Thornton beat someone's ass in game 3. To send the kings a message. ... I hate you quick.#fuckLA— CUENCA#3⃣1⃣ (@vcuenca31) May 17, 2013
FUCK THE GAY ASSLA KINGS.— Ricoh (@RicohTampicooo) May 17, 2013
Never change, Kings fans.My mom comes home telling me how cool the kings game was and how hard she was raging while I stayed home a typed an essay. The fuck.— G-kitty (@gkeef13) May 17, 2013
It's so cute that Kings fans think the Staples Center is loud. But just like their fake fans and fake boobs, let's just let them pretend.
— Nuggetsauce (@nuggetsauce) May 17, 2013
Be careful, Kings. Sharks fans are comin'!
TRH THREE STARS OF THE NIGHT:
3. Jeff Carter
I could watch Jeff Carter score all day.
2. Darryl Sutter
Thank whichever deity you prefer for those missing glasses, because:
It was obvious to me that Sutter had lost his glasses simply because it was Toffoli, Lewis, Penner, Voynov, Muzzin on the PP with 2 min left
— The Royal Half (@theroyalhalf) May 17, 2013
1. Trevor Lewis and Tyler Toffoli
*EXHALE*
Thanks for the new memories.
PumperNicholl is a lifelong LA Kings fan and actually learned how to speak English from Bob Miller by watching LA Kings games... and the Police Academy movies. You can follow him on Twitter.